November 3, 2007: Not What You Think
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
November 3, 2007: Winning Big
A blonde in Las Vegas goes up to the Coke machine, puts in a dollar, and gets a Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
Finally, the man behind her says, "Hey, lady. Do you think I could use the machine?"
She replies, "Fuck off! Can't you see I'm winning?"
November 3, 2007: Head and Shoulders
A blonde and a brunette both board an elevator and push the buttons for their respective floors. On the next floor, the door opens and a businessman wearing a black suit boards the elevator. It’s evident that the man has dandruff problems, because it can be seen on the shoulder of his suit.
Two floors later the man gets off, and the two women remain. When the door closes the brunette says, “Someone should give that guy some Head & Shoulders.”
The blonde then responds, “How do you give shoulders?”
November 3, 2007: Looking For a Miracle
A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. “Dear Lord,” she prays, “if I don’t get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery.”
Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn’t win. She prays even harder, saying, “God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once.”
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.
“Sweetheart, work with me on this,” he says. “Buy a ticket.”
September 19, 2007:
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed ...
"P - E - N - I - S".
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***
June 8,2007: What travels faster, heat or cold?
Answer: Heat, because it is easy to catch a cold.
June 1, 2007: Why was the energizer bunny arrested? Answer: He was CHARGED with excessive BATTERY.
May 25, 2007: (Amazing Fact) Ever wonder where dust comes from? You shed about 45 pounds of skin each month, which turns into dust. Remember that next time you are cleaning.
May 18, 2007: What does a dumb blonde eat for breakfast in the morning? Answer: A turd, she thought it was a new revolutionary cereal that comes out of your ass.